Sunday, May 9, 2010

Remember?

Mom and me

 

Do you remember when I used to bake pies to order for my teachers and my classmates in high school? Although, I think CJ was pretty much the only classmate who ever actually ordered anything from me, and then it had been a chocolate cream pie, which was really only chocolate pudding in a shell, and then it was only cuz she felt kind of sorry for me. I can’t help but wonder now if my classmates thought I was a little cuckoo.

I was always trying to come up with ways to make money back then. We were just so poor, it seemed sometimes. But you never once questioned my ridiculous ideas (like when I collected pine cones from Grandma’s yard and tried to sell them to the neighbors for a buck a piece—eh hemm tried to sell my fabulous instructions for turning pine cones into bird feeders, I mean). You took me very seriously, even though I was batshit looney. 

Well, flash back to that day in high school when I had made an apple pie for my show choir director: Mrs. Johnson hadn’t been around when I went to drop it off that morning, so I stuck it in a drawer in the girls’ dressing room in the music hall at school. But I went back later that day to collect it—remember?—and I found a trail of apple-cinnamon smears across the floor and then sticky, flaky pie crust chunks all over the make-up counter. And when I opened the drawer, the pie was still partially in there, turned upside down and all smooshed and broken, the tin pan all crushed. Remember? And there was a note scrawled on a paper towel, hardly legible,  stuck to the top of that sticky, gooey mess.

I don’t remember what that note said, really. But I do remember how much it hurt.

I held myself together really well that day. I didn’t cry. I didn’t complain. I just sat through my classes, not really saying much, because it’s hard to talk—to open your mouth even—when the only thing that wants to come out is sadness.

I made it all the way home, and I thought I was fine. But then I called you at work, and the moment you said, “Hello,” I started to sob. Big chunky, breath-filled sobs that don’t leave room for words. Except I must have gotten something out, because I remember you were really upset you couldn’t leave work to come home.

Except, you came home anyway. Somehow. And by then, my sobbing had subsided enough that I felt embarrassed to let you see me looking all red in my damsel-in-distress mode. But you didn’t say anything. You didn’t ask questions or try to get me to talk. You just pulled me into your arms and held me like a baby, and you told me I was special.

Do you remember when I called you from Bigger Bean’s track meet the other day with that super good news? She had just finished running her race—the 2400, I think—when I got the news, and I squealed. Frick, I actually squealed like a hungry piglet in the middle of all those people, and then I squeezed Hubs and handed him the phone so he could see, and then I stomped my feet on the aluminum bleachers a little bit, and then I shouted, “I have to call Mom!” and then I raced down the bleachers, skipping and slipping, until I was away from the crowd, and I called you, and you picked up and started to say, “I was just about to ca—“ except I cut you off to tell you the news, and then I squealed tons more, and then you squealed, and we were both squealing like piglets, and then you cheered and said, “SEE! I TOLD you!” and then you said you’d call Grandma and Grandpa, and then Grandma and Grandpa called me, and it was a total squealing lovefest. Remember?

You’ve always been the first one I wanted to call.

Thank you for that.

Today, Little Bean fell and scraped her knee while running around in the garden with Hubs. And she called out to me, wailing, “Mommy, Mommy!” and it hurt me to hear the pain in her voice, and I shoved my laptop aside, and I went running for her and scooped her up, but I didn’t say anything. I just held her like a baby and cooed and told her she was special.

Thanks for that, too, Mom.

Mynach Falls with my girls

51 comments:

  1. That was an incredible and lovely tribute to your mother. You made me want to cry for the sheer warmth and lovingness of it. Happy Mother's Day to both of you (and I sure want to know what the squee call was all about):D

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  2. Aww, your mom sounds wonderful. I'm glad you can call her and you guys can squeal together. hehe Cute post!

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  3. Lovely post! My mom is the first one I call as well. Happy Mother's Day.

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  4. You got me totally teary eyed with this one Carol. Hope your mom sees it. Wonderful! :) Happy Mother's Day!

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  5. Aww... Mothers make everything better. That's their job.

    Happy Mother's Day and congratulations on whatever news you were so happy about! <33333

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  6. Everyone should have that go to person, the one you can call about anything. How lucky that it's your mom. I'm sure she loves this post.

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  7. My mom is the first one I want to call, too. I was right there with you on that apple pie. And I hope you share soon what all the squealing was about because everyone loves GOOD NEWS. Happy Mother's Day!!!!

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  8. Beautifully heartfelt dear friend. I hope your mother got a chance to read this. It's truly a wonderful tribute to her. (Hugs)Indigo

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  9. Aw, I love this post Carol! Happy Mother's Day and thank God for moms!!!

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  10. I really wished this post had sound effects. Lovely. Wish I knew your mom.

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  11. Heartfelt tribute. Mom is the first one I always think about, even when I don't call.

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  12. What a lovely, lovely post!!! Happy Mother's Day.

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  13. Bawling now. Happy Mother's Day, Carol :)

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  14. Somehow, cinnamony-apple pie in my house is always equated with LOVE!

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  15. What a little face, wrapped in the arms of your mum! Lovely post for her, Carolina.

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  16. Happy Mothers' Day! That was such a touching post. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  17. What a beautiful post. I feel the same way about my mother, she's my biggest cheerleader and the first one I want to call. Hooray for moms!

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  18. That was awesome. My daughter's boyfriend broke up with her a few weeks ago. She was sobbing in her bed and I just held her. Feeling completely inadequate. Wanting to say *just the right thing* to make it all better. You just gave me hope that maybe just being there was enough.

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  19. Aww, that was so sweet. BUT, you kept saying "call" and I kept reading faster thinking "OMG she got the call. She's gonna tie it into her Mother's Day post." I was so excited. Then it ended with a scraped knee. Which was cute, but not what I expected.

    So, thanks for getting my heart racing. I expect a post in the near future to fulfill my expectations. ;)

    Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day! XO

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  20. I love crying on Monday morning! Happy Mother's Day!

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  21. I'm totally NOT typing this with tears in my eyes. I'M NOT!!! There must be an ammonia leak or something.

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  22. Awww,this is so lovely, Carolina. What a gorgeous tribute to your mother.

    Jai

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  23. Making me smile esp. because my oldest girl is also coming up with these schemes for making money - with her, it's art. Everytime she does a new project in art at school, she begins to scheme about how she make more of these beauties and sell them (including to her friends at school who have made the same thing!!) Anyway, I'm just tickled about all these neat mother's day blogs I've read today. Added a bit of special dimension to the day that I havent' experienced before. I wonder if thre will be as many posts for Father's Day?

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  24. This was so great for your mom, I love the pictures!!!

    Oh by the way Kazoozles are a licorice like candy that have two flavors mixed together, strawberry for the outside and fruit punch for the inside... it's delicious but can only be found in gas stations, it seems they are very scarce and hard to find, which doesn't make me happy!

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  25. This is beautiful. How lucky you are to have such a great mum, and how lucky your kids are to have you!

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  26. That is absolutely gorgeous writing!

    I've been thinking that I should write a piece on my mom, and this gave me all the inspiration!

    Hope you had a happy Mother's Day.

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  27. So beautiful, so honest. I thank you for sharing this with us.

    I'm glad you appreciate your good fortune, because you are blessed to have a loving mother, a supportive mother. She deserves a post like this.

    I may not have had a good mother, but I try hard to be one.

    Happy Mother's Day. :)

    Love,
    Lola

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  28. Beautiful post! Left me a little misty eyed.

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  29. This is so beautifully written and touching. Thank you for posting it.

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  30. Your beautiful tribute to your mother brought tears to my eyes! I just love your style of writing, your sense of humor and how thoughts flow. Thank you for finding me and giving me the opportunity to follow you.

    P.S. Cheese is a major weakness; and I'm not gonna tell anyone about beautiful women being injurious to health, what with me being so drop-dead gorgeous!

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  31. awww. sniff, sniff. LOVELY moving tribute!

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  32. I am happy for this post. My mother...well, we are closer than we have ever been but it's been a long road. Unfortunately, right now, I could never post such a thing. I'm totally happy for you and your mom. She sounds like a special lady.

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  33. What a lovely tribute! Thanks so much for sharing this!

    Hi! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting and following my blog. I really, really appreciate it. I'm following you back, cheers!!

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  34. That was absolutely lovely.
    Happy (belated) Mother's day to you!

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  35. This made me smile! Thanks for stopping by my blog! Yes, I got a request for my karma novel from a very good agent--so wish me luck (it would be good karma)!
    http://jostorm.blogspot.com/

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  36. Your mother's love runs through your memories and your present. You wrote a lovely tribute. You are lucky to have been a child of such a loving, wise mother. Roland

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  37. This was a great tribute.

    (Totally off-topic, but was that in a book? I swear I've read that before... Or maybe I've been inside your head. LOL!)

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  38. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments! I think sometimes it takes having your own kiddos (or fur babies even!) to truly understand our moms (whether it's to get how much they did for us--or how much they didn't). I've been very fortunate with my mom. We haven't had the easiest life, but I've never once doubted her love for me, and that's truly the greatest gift, something rare to treasure.

    Elana, that's a seriously huge compliment! :D Though I'd just as soon not remember that horrible pie incident, I actually experienced all those things I mentioned (yeah, even selling the pinecones...doh!). And through all of them, my mom has been there. I'm super fortunate. I do wonder if you've been creeping into my head though. I will have to be on the lookout for you!

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  39. You have an incredible blog. And yes, I love the magic and the fantasy.

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  40. Beautiful tribute to your Mum, Carol. You're both so alike!

    Great post. As always dearheart :)

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  41. This post is amazing. Happy belated Mother's Day.

    You won my book giveaway. We'll be in touch soon.

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  42. You have an award over on my blog. You really are a darling, you know that?

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  43. Carolina--Sorry I'm just getting to this. (My cat passed away and I've been rather sad.) What a lovely post to your Mum! Beautiful story...

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  44. Thank you for all of your lovely comments, luvies. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I've been fairly absent from the bloggie world lately. Just have a lot on my plate at the mo'. I promise I will stop by to visit your blogs soon, too. As soon as I weather the crazy fest that is my life right now. And one of those days, I will get back to blogging--hopefully in the next couple of days.

    Miss you all. Big hugs xoxo

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  45. this was lovely. so incredibly touching.

    thanks for letting us in :)

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  46. Absolutely beautiful. Made me cry. My mother died when I was young. I still miss her.

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  47. Carol, you have an award waiting for ya! :)

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  48. So sweet. Thanks for the beautiful post.

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  49. Carolina, thanks for stopping by my blog today! You certainly have much to celebrate and be thankful for, and I appreciate you sharing it on my blog.

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  50. Wonderful post, so full of beauty and heart and soul.

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