Friday, June 18, 2010

This Has Nothing to Do with Me

This is not a real blog post.

This is a fake blog post pointing you to real blog posts.
That are AWEsome.

You guys know I wouldn’t steer you wrong(ly). So do, do, do go check out these posts.

Sara Mcclung, one of my adorable CPs, posted a Vlog about her WisCon34 experience. In it, you will see Sara and Derek Molata getting tattoos and being super cute and funny. Dude, I wish I could miniaturize them and tuck them into my pocket so I could take them out on occasion and give them a squeeze and a cuddle. I so wish I could’ve gone to WisCon with them. Except if I had, the video probably would’ve had more peanut butter. And my bottle would not have been in a bag. I’m a rebel like that. You can also check out Derek’s recap of WisCon34.

Annnnnnd thanks to Alexandra Shostak for sending me the link, I have for you an absolute must read for all writers unpublished and otherwise (actually 3 if you’re keeping score): New Writer Smugness by Victoria Martin.

Seriously. Must read. You will thank me.

And then I will be smug.

Not really.

Finally, you mustmustmustmustmust check out Karsten Knight’s Instructional Dance Video for Men. It is…something to see. You’ll laugh at him. A lot. But I assure you that you will also fall in love with him. Like, at least 3/4 in love. And then you’ll thank me.

And I’ll be smug.

Not really.

Okay, a little bit.

Because, um, let’s just say someone did not put a ring on it. And Karsten is dancing away the pain for us to see.

Nuff said.

P.S. I just, like, minutes ago, discovered that there is an erotica author with my name. I would just like to clarify that this is probably not me.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dance, Baby, Dance…And Then Squee a Little

So there comes a time in a girl’s life when she just has to dance. And video record it. And then post the video on youtube. And thanks to the magic of blogging and contests like my Will Grayson Squared Dance Contest, Kelly Polark’s dance video will now become  famous.

To my bloggie friends.

Because I intend to post this video over and over and over.

Yeah. It was that good.

So watch it. Like now. Or else. I mean, you know, if you want to.

But Kelly, just one question…why do you have so many beds in your room?

Well done, babycakes. That was one fiiiiiiiiine video. My hat’s off to you for dancing to Super Freak. Simply fabulous!

And just as fine of a dance entry, I present to you the dance video of Frankie Mallis, in which she squees and dances and glories in her offer of literary representation. And while we’re all very glad that Frankie now has an agent, we are even more glad that she squeed and romped about for the world to see. Because now we have it on video. For when she becomes all serious in authorship and forgets all about her shady past as resident blog squee-er.

And blackmail, well…I’m not above it.

But for now, we will just enjoy sharing her good news in a very squee-ey pre-serious way. So squee, people. Squee.*

So there you have it. Cute, huh? I will have to watch this several times to learn the I Have an Agent Dance, I think. It looked way complicated. I mean, she had jazz hands and everything**. So anyway, hope you enjoyed—


There’s another? What? Another entry? Like for real? Who submitted it? I don’t remember this one. How bizarre.

Actually, I know who submitted that. I was just tricking you. But names and dates have been altered to protect the identity of the innocent (who make glaring typos, apparently).

P.S. Ignore the weird milkshake booty-wiggle. That’s just disturbing.

P.P.S. Big. HUGE. thank you to Kelly and Frankie for submitting their videos for additional entries to my contest. BUT zero thanks to this trollop dancing with that cutie little munchkin. Because what good is a video without a head? Like, seriously? If you don’t want your face seen, just wear a mask or something. Duh.

*Frankie does not actually squee in this video. She actually stays very silent. Like a silent film star that dances and hold up signs. I actually made up the squee part. For no good reason, really. But Frankie forgives me. Don’t you, Frankie? See. She forgives me. Dude, she’s squeeing with forgiveness.***

**Not really.

***I made that up, too.
If you haven’t been by to meet Karsten Knight yet, well, um, you should. Cuz he’s about to do a dance video of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” And um, yeah, I’m like pretty much almost a quarter in love with him, so please go tell him No, NO, NOOOOOOO!!! Because, really, it may very well ruin my image of him FOR EVERRRRR. OR tell him to do it  and then send a very special copy wrapped in a bow just to me. Either way.

Monday, June 7, 2010

A Vlog: Saying Goodbye to John Green and David Levithan; FML

I felt kind of bad that I had promised a Vlog and never delivered—especially after reading all your delicious pleading comments on my last post. But instead of wasting your time with an old video, I created a new one.

You know, I’m all about forward motion.

So, here’s where I am now in this whole Will Grayson Squared Dance contest hullaballoo. The thing is, the winners have yet to receive their prizes. Because I haven’t sent them. I’ve been a little…hesitant. And I thought I’d show you why.

SoOkaythen. My first Vlog Ever.

(P.S. Make sure to close out any ads that pop up on the bottom of the screen, or it will cut off captions. And you seriously don’t want to miss all the bad words.)

On that note, I have winners’ packages all made up. They should go out shortly. After closing ceremonies and a good hard cry.

I sure hope that Kimberly Franklin, Lisa and Laura Roecker, and Stina Lindenblatt don’t feel too responsible for my pain. It’s not their fault they entered my contest with every intention of stealing winning my J & D books. But let it be known they will forever be known as Book Thieves 1, 2 & 3, and 4, respectively (I counted Lisa and Laura separately because, contrary to popular belief, they are actually two semi-detached individuals*). Oh, and DL Hammons and Casey McCormick? I hope you don’t overly mind partially eaten chocolate as part of your prize packages. If it’s any consolation, it was very good.

Finally, I haven’t forgotten my dance video post. That’s next on the list. Probably.

*Removes creepy statue mask and takes a bow*

*I say semi-detached because I’m under the impression they share the same glass eye, and that seems to me like sharing a body part almost.**

**I really, really like glass eyes. And sometimes I really, really lie about it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Vlogging Contest Results at 2 AM

You know, the worst part about being a technodunce is not that I spent two hours trying to create a Vlog to announce the winners of the Will Grayson Squared Dance contest—a video that turned into rubbish because I was so tired I sounded like cookie monster (yes, that little joke made it into the worthless Vlog you’ll never get to see); it doesn’t even stink all that badly that I hadn’t been able to figure out how to actually get the video footage out of my video camera onto the computer without the help of my husband who—at 2:57 AM—has been sound asleep for hours. But rather, I think I  regret most the hour and a half I spent trying to figure out how to connect my laptop to the computer monitor so that you would have a bigger screen to see the drawing by—only to discover that all I had to do was close the laptop.

Sooooooo, I have no vlog for you today as I’d intended. But what can I do? I am technically challenged, people. Which is especially unfortunate because now you won’t get to see me hugging my signed books goodbye. And you won’t get to hear Weezer’s “I Don’t Want to Let You Go” playing in the background either. It was a poignant moment for sure. Try to use your imagination and envision a Nicholas Sparks movie ending with signed books and chocolate*.

The absence of a Vlog has nothing to do with my tragic Prince of Persia haircut, by the way (for those of you following some of my other blog posts or Twitter). I was wearing a gorilla mask anyway.

So anyway, the randomly chosen winners of the Will Grayson Squared Dance Contest are as follows:

Package 1: David Levithan Rules!

To see a list of the actual prizes, please go HERE.

The Winner IS…. Number 277

For those of you who can’t figure out the obvious, that would be Kimberly Franklin

Yay!! Gooooo, Kimberly, you lucky thing. So miserable happy to give you my Levithans. I know you’ll take good care of them until you decide you don’t need them any more and want to give them back
Err, I truly hope you enjoy them… like, for realz.

Package 2: John Green Rocks!

To see a list of the actual prizes, please go HERE.

The Winner IS…  Number 91

Lisa and Laura Roecker!!!

Way to go! You guys are so lucky!! Please play the lottery for me. Well, okay, LiLa had like fifty thousand entries because they sent so many people my way. I feel like I should send them an additional prize, actually. Except they’re already taking my signed John Greens, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about that yet. Still…if you ladies are ever in Indy, let me know, and I’ll take you out for lunch. There’s this really hip new place called Taco Bell*.

BUT, if I had to give my babies away, I’m glad it could be to you (please feel free to take pictures of them to send to me on occasion).

Package 3: Miscellaneous FTW!

To see a list of the actual prizes, please go HERE.

And the Winner IS… Number 668

That would be Stina Lindenblatt!!

Yahoo!! Way to go, Stina! You’re a lucky duck, darling!

I wish you could’ve heard me try to pronounce your name on my Vlog. Although you might’ve hated me after that. I’m fairly sure I butchered it, all seven ways I pronounced it.

But mega congrats, m’dear! I’m thrilled you won!

Package 4: Maybe, Baby

To see a list of the actual prizes, please go HERE.

The Winner issssssssssss… Number 634

That’s DL Hammons, people!!

Whoa. A dude. Sometimes, I forget they blog, too. So glad you won, guy! I don’t know that I’d choose anyone else to deplete my children’s college savings.

Package 5: Exactly the same as package 4

To see a list of the actual prizes, please go HERE.

The Winner iz… Number 16

Casey McCormick!!!

Yay for you, Casey!! Sucky for my bank account! But I’m super thrilled you won because you rock!

What now?

Okay winners, please e-mail me your addresses so I can send you your prizes. DL and Casey, please let me know if you want a B&N or Amazon gift card as well as your fave flavor of chocolate. I’d go for white chocolate myself, to be honest, but I won’t force you. That would be weird. But please do indicate if you’d rather I kept the chocolate for myself, thanks.

Now, I did get some entries that included a dance video. And let me tell you, I had some serious fun watching those. So much fun actually, that I think that portion of the contest deserves a blog post of its own. So tune in soon, luvies. I’ll be posting my number one dance video pick for you…later. Right now it’s 3:48. So, yeah.

P.S. I’ll be announcing a new contest in the next few days.  Are you feeling lucky?

*I’m kidding about Taco Bell. It’s not really new. :P