I've been kind of sick. And also tired. Very tired. I have this tendency to work myself to the point of exhaustion. Which certainly doesn't help fight off sickness. 3 AM bedtimes do a real number on your immune system. School is also out, and as most parents of school children could probably attest to, life becomes a little more complicated when the kids are home 24-7. You have to do things like feed them and stuff.
Seriously, motherhood takes serious work, and oh my god, I'm not going into it in this post. So not the point. Assume it requires a ridiculous amount of time and physical and mental energy. But motherhood when the kids are home all the time? Well. It's beautiful. AWEsome. But. I have other activities, like volunteering or whatever. And then I have another job doing all my writerly and readerly stuff. I won't go into the laundry list. Who cares. But assume that on top of all the typical writerly/readerly and social networking stuff, I write. Obsessively. I write and revise and write more and revise and plot and research and write crap and write awesome and write more crap and write awesome and play with my kids and make them food and clean and play with my kids and then write crap/write awesome/write crap/write awesome and it just.goes.on.
So I'm busy. I stay up until 2 or later most nights. I don't watch TV. I watch a movie maybe every other week. I turn down girls' night out usually. Parties? Hmm.
Here's what I do allow myself: I give myself free time...to shower. Sometimes. I try to run a couple miles a few times a week. I take vitamins. I get the mail a few days a week. There you go.
But since the kids have been out of school, I sort of just...got tired. I became profoundly aware of the exhaustion settling deep inside of me. I discovered this need to sleep in late and then lounge in my pajamas, sitting inside my daughter's cardboard clubhouse watching iCarly, eating pita chips with hummus. I realized that I wanted to do nothing more than watch movie after movie after movie. I wanted to watch TV. I wanted to shop. Leisurely. I wanted to sit beside the pool, getting sweaty reading a book. I wanted to talk on the phone with my mom and my friends for hours on end. I wanted to play tag and jump on the trampoline and dance until my muscles were weak. In short, I wanted to rest.
So, sick and exhausted, I have rested. Like, letting Little Bean paint my toenails multiple colors and layers. Letting her brush my hair. With lotion. Spa day, don'tcha know. We went shopping. Picnic at the park. Movies. TV. Went to the drive-in last weekend--didn't even get home until 5 AM. Shoot, three movies in a row, but they were kickass. Totally worth it. We'll probably go again tomorrow. It's totally my fifth favorite thing to do. Today, we went to the water park. Four hours in the sun. Great fun. I even remembered to put sunscreen on. Most of me. Ouch. Still. Great fun.
This weekend, I'm going to make homemade pizza and maybe cream puffs with custard and chocolate ganache and possibly also a strawberry margarita(s). I'm going to watch loads of movies and dance and then I'm going to do nothing. Like totally nothing. Just maybe staring. Eat. Watch. Stare.
And if I try really, really hard, I won't even feel anxious. I won't think about the story waiting to unfold. Or the emails stacking up. Or messages left unanswered. Or the conference I need to pack for. I won't think about anything at all.
The winner of the signed A TOUCH MORTAL by Leah Clifford is
Congratulations, Alison! Please email me an address where I can send you your book. Thanks so much to all who entered the giveaway. I'll be having another one shortly.